New improved me

Hi there, I'm back. I have to talk about one thing that I have recently realized - I am not having nearly so much "ME" time as I would like to. Don't get me wrong, I love to spend time with my BF - there is nothing I love more than time with him, but I think it is also important to be alone once in a while, to get some rest, do things for myself, etc.

So last week, on Thursday, I decided to take some time off. I was feeling sick the past week, extremely tired, having a bit of fever in the evenings, so I just asked for a day off. We do not have a sick days in my company, so I had to sacrifice one day out of my annual leave allowance, but I really needed it.

So the plan of the day was pretty strict - NO activities that would make me feel tired or uncomfortable, no physical activity, only pleasant duties. I realized that I haven't visited the hairdresser in loooong months, so I made an appointment with one - I am very happy what the lady did with me. She did a little bit of color (no change, just making the hair brighter, shinier, healthier), did the cut as I wanted... Not a big change after all, but it made me feel so pretty. I bought new jeans (one size smaller!!!), got a lunch out (salad and chicken) and was feeling very ok with myself. Got loooots of rest during the day. That was so refreshing. The weather was so nice, but I just felt I needed to stay in the bed in order to get more fit.

It is true, I've cheated on my diet a bit during the weekend. I spend the rest of the weekend with my family, but first I started to cheat when I was in PRG. Thursday evening I got 4 pcs of Raffaelo for myself. And what. Friday I was more or less ok - I got some small tea spoon of dressing on my salad, but it felt like a yoghurt with garlic and herbs, so I did not feel guilty for that. I got smoked salmon for the dinner, but that was also not feeling like cheating much. What came later that weekend was probably not so bad too, but I like to keep strict. So Saturday I took about table spoon of mustard with my burger. And during the day I maybe took a table spoon of french dressing too. Sunday was the worst for me. I took maybe three-four table spoon of the freaking dressing, topped with a croissant in the train and table spoon of Nutella at home.

Yes. I did have a cheat week. It was not a lot. But it felt... Strange. I am not thinking to continue having cheat moments - I really mean it seriously with this diet, I see the results, and I don't want to do it again. I will remain eating very clean, and hope to have improvements. Tomorrow I will go to gym after a busy last week, and hope we will be going 3 times a week with BF.

So, why I called this article NEW IMPROVED ME, when half of the time I talk about cheating, which sounds a lot like the old me? The old me would go all the way. Eat much much more. Got thousands more. I would get a cake with the croissant. I would go to Flora and buy myself a chlebicky AND another cake. I would buy a Redbull or Coke. I would do it and cry about myself.

What I did instead, is allowed myself to do a little bit. And right after, I didn't feel ashamed, I felt stubborn. Good, but still strong - as an "Yes, I did it, I am not ashamed of myself, but I will remain strong and get where I want." That was such a change and such a good feeling.

I hope I am out of the crazy loop. Yes, there are moments in my life, when I plan how I go to Flora and buy all that junk food, but so far every time I have stopped myself. I feel very proud of myself.

I hope I will stay like this forever. Having a moment here and there, when I eat out of diet, but don't feel guilty for that. And right after, staying where I need to be.

After all, it is still just 2 months since I started the diet, and I have 8 kilos down. That is incredible. My body is looking a lot different, but what is most important, my head is finally in place. Well, not exactly where I need to be, but almost there:-)

And ye - my hair is different too. So that is it. I feel new. Better. Stronger.